Tuesday, February 1, 2011

My WILD Imagination and our little one...

In the last 3 years my priorities have changed somewhat. Well, maybe that statement isn't entirely true, but certainly my perspective has changed. I have to admit, I would loose some sleep 2-3 times a week at night wondering about this baby. Would it be healthy? Would it be like Nathan? Would we be able to adjust as a family to meet the needs of that particular child?

We met with a perinatologist and genetics counselor today at Utah Valley Regional Medical Center. I have been told by many people that this baby would be just fine. My head believed them, but the emotional part of me couldn't get past the what ifs? I think that is a natural consequence of sitting those many months with Nathan in the hospital. 22 surgeries... my imagination had a great time running wild with the endless possibilities. Especially when the great majority have all included a stay in the newborn intensive care unit or the pediatric intensive care unit. The things you see... the people you meet... I guess I still carry around with me a small amount of post traumatic stress disorder. I had a fear of putting another child through the suffering that little Nathan has been through.

So when this little critter had the ultrasound done, it wouldn't cooperate very well. Maybe its a sign that it will be just like its sister, her way or the highway! After quite a bit of poking, prodding, and a little gentle pounding from the doctor, they finally got some ok pictures of it. There are no markers for any major birth defects. The baby does not appear to have Tetralogy of Fallot. However, the little mover and shaker wouldn't hold quite as still as the dr would have liked. So in another month I have a fetal echo at Primary Children's to make absolutely certain that its heart is ok.

What a blessing! I would have taken another child like Nathan, but I didn't know if I could have dealt with the extra stress or scheduling more dr visits and therapy visits. I guess I could have, but I just need a break!

So we should be adding a HEALTHY little girl in June. Ellie is ecstatic to say the least. Every girl should have a sister.

And now I can tell my imagination to STOP IT!