Tuesday, February 1, 2011

My WILD Imagination and our little one...

In the last 3 years my priorities have changed somewhat. Well, maybe that statement isn't entirely true, but certainly my perspective has changed. I have to admit, I would loose some sleep 2-3 times a week at night wondering about this baby. Would it be healthy? Would it be like Nathan? Would we be able to adjust as a family to meet the needs of that particular child?

We met with a perinatologist and genetics counselor today at Utah Valley Regional Medical Center. I have been told by many people that this baby would be just fine. My head believed them, but the emotional part of me couldn't get past the what ifs? I think that is a natural consequence of sitting those many months with Nathan in the hospital. 22 surgeries... my imagination had a great time running wild with the endless possibilities. Especially when the great majority have all included a stay in the newborn intensive care unit or the pediatric intensive care unit. The things you see... the people you meet... I guess I still carry around with me a small amount of post traumatic stress disorder. I had a fear of putting another child through the suffering that little Nathan has been through.

So when this little critter had the ultrasound done, it wouldn't cooperate very well. Maybe its a sign that it will be just like its sister, her way or the highway! After quite a bit of poking, prodding, and a little gentle pounding from the doctor, they finally got some ok pictures of it. There are no markers for any major birth defects. The baby does not appear to have Tetralogy of Fallot. However, the little mover and shaker wouldn't hold quite as still as the dr would have liked. So in another month I have a fetal echo at Primary Children's to make absolutely certain that its heart is ok.

What a blessing! I would have taken another child like Nathan, but I didn't know if I could have dealt with the extra stress or scheduling more dr visits and therapy visits. I guess I could have, but I just need a break!

So we should be adding a HEALTHY little girl in June. Ellie is ecstatic to say the least. Every girl should have a sister.

And now I can tell my imagination to STOP IT!

11 comments:

Kyle and Alli said...

That is fabulous news. I can imagine the worry and anxiety that have probably accompanied this pregnancy... I know when we finally decide we are ready again, I will be a wreck until I can get to that big ultrasound. Won't it be nice to leave your fetal echo and have calm nerves! Congrats again!

Melissa said...

I hope that your imagination will obey your orders!! Congratulations!

Tasha said...

I think it is normal to have those worries when you already have a kiddo that is a little more complex than the average kid. I know I have worried far too much about what/if/when etc for our little Derrick.

I am so excited you get to have another little girl! Sisters rock. :)

Lisa said...

Hurray! I have been checking your blog lately, waiting for some news on this little baby of yours. We are happy for you guys, and what a relief to find that everything looks healthy. I will have to tell Heidi that Elisabeth is getting a baby sister. Heidi sure loves Melanie and is actually quite helpful with things. I hope Elisabeth will be the same way for you!!

Lindsey said...

Congratulations! You guys are so amazing with what you've had to go through. I'm so excited this baby is healthy!

The Mom said...

Like I said you have a wonderful way of saying what you feel. I love reading your posts and the clever way that you write it as it says what you are really feeling. We are all so grateful for the wonderful news. Will be looking forward to news from the echo also. Wow! another little baby with lots of energy.

Becca said...

It's hard not to have those fears after kiddos like ours. My youngest is nine months and she has been checked out several times, but it's still hard to not worry when her feet are blue or something. Hopefully you can relax. Easier said than done.

Wild Hair said...

Congratulations! And I wish you the best. I know what you mean about the Post Tramatic Stress. I still have moments of relapses 23 years after my Jacob's tramatic beginnings.
Love you guys,
Aunt Jan

Janice & Don said...

Yes, yes, yes!! I can't wait to see her- I already know I'll be her favorite :).

I know no matter what her birth brings, you are so strong and amazing you could handle anything. You know we love you guys!

Dan & Calli Ellinger said...

So happy to hear that everything went well! How fun for Ellie to have a little sister! Congrats!

arianne said...

I'm so glad you found my blog as I can read yours too. Your family is beautiful and congrats on the pregnancy. I'm going to poke around and read some more. Hugs!