Back to the Mundane

Jake and I decided at the end of last week that since I am going to be having jaw surgery in the fall and Nathan is going to begin having his cleft palate repaired that I needed to come back to work on a full time basis earlier than I wanted to. Originally I had planned on returning back to work on June 30th, but since even the best laid plans change I started back yesterday. I was comfortable going back to work knowing that Jake would be taking care of Nathan and Ellie. Who better than their own daddy would do such a good job? Jake is figuring out that it isn't easy to stay at home with the kids, but I think that he actually doesn't mind it. On Sunday evening before I came back to work, we worked on a schedule of exactly what needed to be done with the kids at exactly what time of day. It made us realize how much work Nathan is. We also realized that if we worked it right, that Ellie would be getting the one on one attention she needs too.

I am constantly wishing that I were home with Nathan and Ellie instead of working. It always goes back to the great debate: proverty and a junky neighborhood or a nice home with good schools. As Kathleen can attest, a teacher's income barely can purchase a condo these days; not a home for a growing family. I also have a vested retirement with the state which would help us tremendously in our later years.

Jake and I are considering the possibility of having a live in nanny that could take our extra bedroom downstairs and be paid a stipend. Tonight we are going to start interviewing people also for possible in home daycare arrangments. Our biggest problem is that Nathan doesn't just need a diaper bag at the moment to go places. He also needs his pump and attachments as well. It would just be easier all around to have someone come to our home. So, if anyone knows anybody who would be up to sitting, please let us know. I want the very best care for my little boy because he needs a lot of extra attention! I also want someone who is going to love my children and not just tolerate them. Its going to be a tall order to fill.

At least since I have to go back to work I have an excellent job with a wonderful manager and coworkers. No one in my office plays office politics and everyone gets along. I'm in charge of my own work and the pace that I work on it. My day always ends at the same time and I NEVER work holidays or weekends. I can also call in sick in the morning and I'm not putting anybody off by doing so. How much better can it get? SO, I'm back to the mundane and grateful for what I have and not worrying so much at the moment about what I don't. I'm working hard to be a good mom to my children in the evenings and the days I have off. I guess at the moment I'm doing the best that I can.